I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
