There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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