to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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