butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
