I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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