I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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