No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
