Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
