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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.

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• (408): View more from California

  i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you

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• (916): View more from California

  It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication

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• (716): View more from New York

  You're about wine.

  (585): View more from New York

  Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment

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• (518): View more from New York

  He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.

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• (646): View more from New York

  In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML

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