So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
