me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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