So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
