At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
