i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize