Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
do nipples grow back?
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