3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
