When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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