he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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