these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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