he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
