Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
