If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
