big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
