Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
jump out the window naked night went bad
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
