Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize