Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
