Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
