To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I deserve this hangover.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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