just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
