12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
