I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize