i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
