Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
