I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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