I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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