Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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