Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize