good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
