I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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