Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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