i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
