I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
