READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I understand Curling. That high.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
