If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
