Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
