he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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