The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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