Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
