i would punch a child for taco bell
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
two words...techno handjob
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
