Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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