my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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