we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize