I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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