Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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