Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
please don't ironically join a cult
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