And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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