i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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