how hairy? two words: wookie tits
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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