I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
