i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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